What Do (Heterosexual) Women Want?

Freud's biographer quotes Freud as saying, "The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'"

Here's my response to Freud, in a poem:

EVERY GIRL

Every girl needs two things:  

Security Man and Adventure Boy - 

with Security Man she’s round and achy

with Adventure Boy she’s lithe and cheeky

she can wrap him up between her thighs

and squeeze.

Security Man works hard for her

and loves her almost as much as his work

maybe more

because what’s the point of work without her

at home

waiting

waiting

for Adventure Boy

to visit.

Security Man buys her a house

Adventure Boy buys her nothing

who does she love?

Every girl needs two things:

security man insecurity man

adventure boy misadventure boy

With Security Man she sleeps all night

needs to sleep and work and write

With Adventure Boy she’s up till dawn

laughing and talking until he’s gone

Security Man is funny and smart

and warm and loving and in her heart

Adventure Boy jokes and rants

is warm and loving and in her pants

Every girl needs two things:

Security Man and Adventure Boy

They are never wrapped in the same package.

The family loves Security Man

they’ve been waiting all her life

hoping she would meet him.

She doesn’t introduce Adventure Boy.

Security Man is distracted

Adventure Boy is engaged

With Security Man she plans - 

vacations, season’s tickets

Security Man marinates

Adventure Boy gyrates

Adventure Boy is all here & now

No future

not even tomorrow really for sure

Every girl needs two things.

but what does Adventure Boy need?

he doesn’t want to be on call

and shows up late or not at all.