What Do I Say Next? A Love Story for Shy People

This blog was inspired by my student, Mehdi, who wanted to know what to do about silences.

Location:  a meetup or party

Time:  midnight

"Let's have a conversation," he said.

"About what?" she said.

"About you.  About me."

Silence

"In a conversation, I talk, then you talk," he said.

"OK," she said.

Silence

"Is talking hard?" he said, trying hard to get it started.

"I never know what to say," she said.

"You have nice eyes," he said.

Silence

"Let's keep trying," he said.

Silence

"Is it too noisy here?" he said.

"Kinda," she said.

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Where?"

"Nearby, maybe a coffee shop or a bar.  Maybe along the waterfront."

"Is it safe?" she said.  "It's late."

"I have a 3rd degree black belt," he said.

Silence

"That's your cue," he said.

"Cue for what?"

"To continue the conversation."

"What's a 3rd degree black belt?" she said.

"Excellent!" he said.  "It's what I tell women when they are afraid to go for a walk."

Silence

"It's when I pull my belt tight, to the third hole."

"You're funny," she said.

"Have you ever been in danger?" he said.

"I'm always in danger," she said,

"I don't know what to say next," he said.  "I'm thinking one of these things:

a) You should protect yourself.  You should carry pepper spray and a whistle.

b) Considering the way you dress, I'm not surprised.

c) We all are.  These are dangerous times.

d) That's why I learned karate - to protect myself.

e) It's OK.  I'm here.

f) It must affect your life to feel that way.  You must feel anxious about trying new things or meeting new people."

"That last one is good," she said.  "You're right.  That's how I feel."

Silence

"Let's go for that walk," she said.

"Really?" he said.

"We can hold hands," she said.