What Do You Need in a Relationship? Besides "Love."

Here's my top five things:

1.  EMOTIONAL CLOSENESS:

     Do I feel heard and understood?

2.  FUN:

     Do I have fun with you?

3.  TRUST:

     Are you a safe harbour where I can moor my boat?

     Is it safe to come home?

     Will I be nurtured and cared for?

4.  PHYSICAL CLOSENESS:

     Is my body accepted and loved by you?

     Is a hug or cuddle available or withheld?

     Are my physical needs validated or mocked?

5.  RESPECT:

     Do you respect my concerns or devalue them?

These components are provided in varying degrees at various times.  We might prefer 100% of these all the time, but we find we can be happy with some other percent.  Some days, we are only able to give 70% ourselves.

What are your desired components?

What do you give?

Ask your partner.  It might be a scary conversation, but it seems like a genuine one and might keep you from being blindsided by some imagined dissatisfaction down the road.